Friday Levity (2010.02.05)

People often ask me if what I write has any truth to it. And that question is typically followed with “How does your wife tolerate you?”

I could, and should, be offended by those questions, but I am not. I am taking the high road. This sporadic weekly rambling called “Friday Levity” comes from the heart and is an effort to get my plight known by the world. Ironically, people continue to feel empathy towards Mrs. T, which I struggle to understand. Obviously, I am doing something wrong. Thus far, I have only met one person who said he believed me, but then he quickly followed up with “But of course, I’ve never met your wife, so you’re the only one that has given me any information”. I appreciated that, sort of. I didn’t tell him that most people have not met my wife and it makes no difference to them as they continue to take her side. Especially women. Women are like thieves…they stick together. We men should probably learn from that. But then, that would be like reading the instructions or asking for directions. And that’s just crazy talk! Men communicate directly without all the surrounding fluff about what we’re wearing, where did we buy it and was it on sale. Women could learn from men on this and learn to communicate with only direct questions and answers about the necessities of life like computers, guns, pickups, cars, boats, gas, oil and beef jerky.

In reality, my ramblings always have some truth to them. I then, perhaps, at times, apply a dose of “writer liberties”. Sometimes, perhaps, I apply a very liberal dose. It is the job of the reader to ascertain which parts contain truth. And, as many of you seem to enjoy pointing out, there are some weeks which contain fewer parts of truth than other weeks.

Last week, I attended Mrs. T’s annual conference of music educators. I typically sit and work while I wait on her as she attends her daily sessions. This allows me ample opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite pastimes: people watching. Years ago I came to the conclusion that there is little doubt why these people belong in the Arts. . .most of them are a real work of art. But I’m glad they do what they do, because I really like music and for that, I am willing to not be judgmental and to put up with their many idiosyncrasies. I’m sure they too frown upon me as I sit with my headphones, laptop computer and tri-colored beanie cap with a propeller on top. I wear the cap in an attempt to blend in. It doesn’t work. I am probably not verbose and/or flamboyant enough. But, I do not apologize for that. If I want to know where the nearest bathroom is, I ask where the nearest bathroom is. I don’t start off with comments about what you’re wearing is “to die for” and “we just have to get together and compare notes” and “I’ve just been to the most awful session ever…well, the worst since the session before that”. I’m probably considered a mute by most. If I were a mute, I’m pretty sure most of them would understand sign language because I saw several of them using it when expressing their displeasure at getting water and slush splashed on them by passing cars. And apparently, they thought those drivers were not only mute, but deaf, because some very loud and colorful language was used, along with signals from both hands. Music people are like that. They like to use variety of techniques when attempting to teach a lesson. . .however, I imagine most of their fell on deaf ears. . .I really doubt that any of those drivers own a bassoon, and even if they did, I doubt they’re going to stick anything up it…as was suggested on many occasions by those music educators. . .