Friday Levity (01.08.2010)

I cleaned out my sock drawer this week. And don't EVEN act like you don't have a sock drawer! I can envision some of you having more than one sock drawer! Mine wasn't a pretty sight/site.

First, I began by throwing away any socks which were totally, or partially green. . .I have educated Mrs. T on the dangers of mold and have asked her to STOP putting dirty socks back in my drawer. . .

Next, I had to figure out if the 25+ single socks were actually orphans, or did they have a mate somewhere in the mess? I hate matching up socks, as I suspected you all do.

Next, after matching up what I could, I then attempted to match up socks that were "close" to a match. I figured I could wear them when I work in the yard because my grandchildren dogs, Maggie and Rosco, couldn't care less, and my neighbors have learned to not even look when I'm out in the yard, because my wardrobe is often "less than coordinated". . .sometimes just "less". . .one of the many benefits of living out in the woods is wearing a much or little as you want. . .doesn't matter if it's missing, matched and/or mismatched. . .

Next, I threw away all remaining orphans. Also, I threw away socks that I hadn't worn in years. . . and for good reason! I wouldn't have ever imagined socks going out of style, but my argyle olive green and burnt orange fuzzy socks should have been outlawed when I was buying them years ago, and I know that I'd now get shot if tried to wear them now. . .at the very least I'd show up on the "People of Wal-Mart" website.

After it was all said and done, my sock drawer would actually close. I have made myself a promise that if I ever buy a pair of socks again, I'll throw away an existing pair of socks, thus maintaining "sock drawer karma".

Those orphans continue to perplex me with regard to whatever happened to their mates. Is it a ploy, by Mrs. T, to get rid of my favorite holy socks? She knows I would be mad if she threw away my favorite holy socks. I wonder if she throws away one and then puts its mate in the drawer, blaming the clothes dryer demons for the missing socks. I have good reason to believe she would do such a thing. . .I have a VERY favorite t-shirt and you know what I'm talking about! It was SO comfortable. . .thread bare, rips, one sleeve hanging on by a thread, frayed. This week, I found HALF of it in my t-shirt drawer after she had done the laundry. . .