Friday Levity 2008.12.18

What follows are things I have read or heard this week. I believe they could be true. However, this is not for the faint of heart, so if you're the type who gets queasy when pulling a greasy hairball from the shower drain, you might want to stop reading now. You've been warned.
.
A co-worker (we'll call her Keanette Jlemin to protect what little innocence she has left) stopped at the local car wash in her hometown recently and discovered a man washing his car. He was wearing only a pair of Speedos. Since that day, fellow co-workers have observed that Keanette's vehicle has been washed every day. Apparently she has taken a new interest in car care.
.
Kenette's other experience for the week was the discovery of a man, passed out in the parking lot of a small grocery store in her hometown. He was naked from the waist down. And there was a bag of partially used marijuana next to him. Co-workers report that Kenette was greatly relieved to discover that she was the first on the scene, because it was a family member. She was able to salvage the contents of the bag and hide it before authorities arrived, which was a double bonus: no drug arrest and she could check his name off her Christmas gift list since she now had a gift for him.
.
Apparently, the "green" movement has some radical followers including those that conserve water by saving their shower water, boiling it and wash their dishes with it. One person commented that an alternative to this dish washing approach is to use the water from any second flush you might do. Another person followed up with a comment that both of these methods of dish washing could be avoided by simply having a golden retriever in the house.
.

.
Irish Humor:
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar (Hey, it could happen!!!)
.
.
Delicious Christmas Cookie Recipe

Ingredients:

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

1 cup nuts (your choice)

2 cups of dried fruit

1 bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila


Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one tsp of sugar...beat again.

At this point, it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still fresh, try another cup...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the blasted fruit off the floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt...or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!!!!